How to Overcome Shyness
Are you shy? If so, you are far from alone. Many people in the world suffer from mild to extreme shyness and are struggling to overcome it. To overcome shyness, you'll need to understand the circumstances that trigger your shyness, work to change your mental state and perspective regarding those circumstances, and practice putting yourself in comfortable and uncomfortable situations until you've worked through the worries holding you back. Remember that breaking out of your shell doesn't magically happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and of course, the desire to change.
1.Understanding Your Shyness
Think about the root of your shyness. Shyness doesn't necessarily equate to being introverted or not liking yourself. It simply means that for some reason you get embarrassed when the spotlight hits you. What's the root of your shyness? It's generally the symptom of a larger problem. Here are three possibilities:
You have a weak self-image. This happens when we evaluate ourselves and that voice in our heads is negative. It's tough to stop listening to it, but at the end of the day it's your voice and you can tell it what to say.
You have issues believing compliments given to you. Whether or not you think you look good, someone did, and that's why they told you so. You wouldn't call them a liar would you? Lift your chin, say "thank you" and accept it. Don't try to tell the person who paid you a complement that they're wrong.
You are preoccupied with how you come off. This happens when we focus too much on ourselves. Because we spend all day monitoring our actions and making sure we don't mess up, we assume everyone else is too. We'll talk about turning the focus on others if this sounds like you.
You are labeled as shy by others. Sometimes, when we're little, we're shy. Unfortunately, people latch onto that and treat us as such, even when our personalities grow out of it. It's possible that others have lumped you into this category and you're trying to accommodate them. The good news? You only have to accommodate yourself.
Whatever your reason, it's doable to get over it. They're all ways of thinking and thinking is the one thing you have control over. Yes!
2.Accept your shyness. One of the first steps to overcome your shyness is try to accept your shyness and be comfortable with it. The more you will resist it unconsciously or consciously, longer it will prevail. If you are shy then accept it and embrace it totally. One way it could be done is by saying to yourself repeatedly 'Yes I am shy and I accept it'.
3.Figure out your triggers. Do you become shy in front of new audiences? When learning a new skill? When venturing into a new situation? When surrounded by people you know and admire? When you don't know anyone somewhere? Try to pinpoint the thoughts that go through your head right before the shyness hits.
Odds are not all situations make you shy. You're okay being around your family, right? How are they that different than the strangers around you? They're not -- you just know them better and what's more, they know you. It's not you, it's just the situations you're in. This proves that it's not a global, 100% of-the-time thing. Excellent.
3.Make a list of situations that make you feel anxious. Order them so that those things that cause you the least anxiety are first and those that cause you the most anxiety are last. When you put things in concrete terms, it feels like a task you can tackle and tackle successfully.
Make them as concrete as possible. "Talking in front of people" may be a trigger, but you can get more specific. Talking in front of those who have more authority than you do? Talking to those you find attractive? The more specific you are, the easier it will be to identify the situation and work through it.
4.Conquer the list. Once you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations, start working through them, one-by-one (after you read the article, of course). The first few "easier" situations will help build your confidence so that you can continue moving to more difficult situations on your list.
Don't worry if you have to go backwards on the list sometimes; take it at your own pace, but make an effort to push yourself.
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